Any person accessing this site consents to and agrees to the following:
This material may not be used, copied, displayed, re-published, transmitted, re-transmitted, replicated, distributed, or otherwise reproduced in whole or in part without written consent from Brad Berson or the estate thereof. Users may view and download material from this web site only for personal, non-commercial home use. You may link to this material, index this material, or disseminate information about this material only by referring to the appropriate URL (Uniform Resource Locator) hyperlink pointing to this material. The name, location, and contents of all individual elements that constitute this web site are subject to change or removal without notice.
Rectaltronics concept Copyright (C) 1989-2001 Wichita Bytebrothers and Fast Logic Outlaws.
Brad Berson and the Wichita Bytebrothers make no representation that materials in the site are appropriate or available for use outside of New York, New York. Those who choose to access this site from other locations do so on their own initiative and are responsible for compliance with local laws, if and to the extent applicable.
THE MATERIALS IN THIS SITE ARE PROVIDED "AS IS" AND WITHOUT WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND EITHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED. TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMISSIBLE PURSUANT TO APPLICABLE LAW, BRAD BERSON AND THE WICHITA BYTEBROTHERS DISCLAIM ALL WARRANTIES , EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY AND FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. BRAD BERSON AND THE WICHITA BYTEBROTHERS DO NOT WARRANT OR REPRESENT THAT THE INFORMATION IS ACCURATE OR RELIABLE OR THAT THE SITE WILL BE FREE OF ERRORS OR VIRUSES.
Under no circumstances, including but not limited to negligence, will the author(s) be liable for special or consequential damages that result from the use or inability to use the materials in this site. In no event shall the author(s) be liable to a user for any loss, damage or claim whatsoever.
This agreement is effective until terminated by either party. You may terminate this agreement at any time by discontinuing your use of the Brad Berson or Rectaltronics, Inc. sites and destroying all materials obtained from those sites.
This agreement will be governed by New York law without effect to any principles of conflicts of laws.
COPYRIGHT AND OWNERSHIP NOTICE
Every reasonable effort has been made to ensure that the materials, source, and artwork on the Brad Berson and Rectaltronics internet sites are either original, or in the public domain, or published with the express permission of the author(s) or owner(s). Information regarding potential copyright or trademark discrepancies may be sent to brad.berson @ rectaltronics.com.
DISCLAIMER OF OPINION
THE OPINIONS EXPRESSED IN THIS SERVICE ARE SOLELY THE AUTHORS' AND DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THOSE OF DIGITAL EQUIPMENT CORPORATION, RENSSELAER POLY- POLYTECHNIC INSTITUTE, PENN STATE, IBM, NASA, HARVARD UNIVERSITY, SCIENTOLOGY, ATARI CORP., STANFORD UNIVERSITY, BITNET INC., SOFTWARE TOOL & DIE, INFOCOM, PRODIGY, RALSTON PURINA INC., JAPAN, LYNDON LaROUCHE, THE SYSOP OF USENET, GEORGE BUSH, THE LONDON TIMES, ORACLE CORPORATION, WILLIE WHISTLE, STAR TREK THE NEXT GENERATION, THE HOME SHOPPING CLUB, THE HAIR CHANNEL FOR MEN, OR THE CITY OF NEW YORK. HOWEVER YOU CAN'T SUE ME FOR SAYING ANY OF THIS BECAUSE IF YOU SUE ME YOU'D HAVE TO QUOTE ME IN COURT AND THEN I'D SUE YOU FOR QUOTING THIS COPYRIGHTED (C) MESSAGE!!! MY FAMILY IS FULL OF LAWYERS !!!
This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substaintial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your cancelled check is your recipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flame. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub.
This web service is an "as-is" service. Neither the webmaster, the school district, the Pope, Rush Limbaugh, or God HIMSELF will be held liable if the pages do any of the following: Crashes, shuts down with or without warning, decides it doesn't like you, smokes profusely, makes that "chk-chk" noise like a broken washing machine, shoots sparks, causes a total nuclear holocaust, spins around several times and vomits pea soup, gives off "Bad Vibes," plays "Daisy" repeatedly, steals your boyfriend/girlfriend, falls in love with and begins humping your floppy disk drive, or spontaneously combusts.
Do not operate heavy machinery after using this service. This service may cause drowsiness, dizziness, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, angina, temporary blindness, loss of consciousness, seizures, skin rashes, nausea, vomiting, the involuntary playing of Elvis songs, bloating, water retention, and/or spontaneous transformation into small woodland forest creatures. We are not responsible for emotional damage resulting from use of this service. Repeated and prolonged usage may cause paranoia, confusion, feelings of despair or ebullience, or a "Bad Hair Day." This service contains no user serviceable parts; see licensed technician before removing cover or striking. No lifeguard on duty.
For children under 12, give half usual dosage. May be habit forming. No refunds or exchanges. Failure to follow appropriate safety precautions can and may result in mutilation or death. Contents under extreme pressure; do not puncture or incinerate this service. Void where prohibited. State and local taxes may apply. Avoid contact with eyes or mucous membranes. Not responsible for demonic possession and/or control of users.
Read all instructions before using this service. This service not available in all areas. This service is not a bank or insured by the FDIC. If skin rash or other irritation develops, discontinue usage and contact your physician immediately. Do not use this service while bathing. For EXTERNAL use only. Not responsible for lost or misplaced mail or other personal items.
Any resemblance to any persons living or dead is purely coincidental. No warranties are either express, or implied. Do not use this service under the influence of mind-altering drugs and/or alcohol unless those substances have already kicked in. For best results, time your medications properly. Not responsible for psychiatric care needed as a result of using this service. In case of accidental ingestion, do not induce vomiting.
Not responsible for incidental or consequential damages, or for acts of God. It is illegal in some states to use this service while sleeping. Temporary insanity may result from the use/misuse of this service. The Supreme Court has ruled that using this service while performing surgery may be a violation of Federal Laws and restrictions.
If erection becomes uncomfortable or lasts for more than four hours, consult a physician.
This disclaimer is not valid in Borneo, Outer Mongolia, on any day ending in "Y" of months which do not end in "R," and within five miles of the lower Volga River. Void where applicable by law. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. Try not to step on the cracks. Avoid overdusting. DO NOT IMMERSE IN WATER!
This notice supersedes all previous notices.
WARNING: This Product Warps Space and Time in Its Vicinity.
WARNING: This Product Attracts Every Other Piece of Matter in the Universe, Including the Products of Other Manufacturers, with a Force Proportional to the Product of the Massed and Inversely Proportional to the Distance Between Them.
CAUTION: The Mass of This Product Contains the Energy Equivalent of 85 Million Tons of TNT per Net Ounce of Weight.
HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE: This Product Contains Minute Electrically Charged Particles Moving at Velocities in Excess of Five Hundred Million Miles per Hour.
CONSUMER NOTICE: Because of the "Uncertainty Principle," It Is Impossible for the Consumer to Find Out at the Same Time Both Precisely Where This Product Is and How Fast It Is Moving.
ADVISORY: There is an Extremely Small but Nonzero Chance That, Through a Process Known as "Tunneling," This Product May Spontaneously Disappear from Its Present Location and Reappear at Any Random Place in the Universe, Including Your Neighbor's Domicile. The Manufacturer Will Not Be Responsible for Any Damages or Inconvenience That May Result.
READ THIS BEFORE OPENING PACKAGE: According to Certain Suggested Versions of a Grand Unified Theory, the Primary Particles Constituting This Product May Decay to Nothingness Within the Next Four Hundred Million Years.
THIS IS A 100% MATTER PRODUCT: In the Unlikely Event That This Merchandise Should Contact Antimatter in Any Form, a Catastrophic Explosion Will Result.
PUBLIC NOTICE AS REQUIRED BY LAW: Any Use of This Product, In Any Manner Whatsoever, Will Increase the Amount of Disorder in the Universe. Although No Liability is Implied Herein, the Consumer Is Warned That This Process Will Ultimately Lead to the Heat Death of the Universe.
NOTE: The Most Fundamental Particles in This Product Are Held Together by a "Gluing" Force About Which Little Is Currently Known and Whose Adhesive Power Can Therefore Not Be Permanently guaranteed.
ATTENTION: Despite Any Other Listing of Product Contents Found Hereon, the Consumer Is Advised That, in Actuality, This Product Consists of 99.9999999999% Empty Space.
NEW GRAND UNIFIED THEORY DISCLAIMER: The Manufacturer May Technically Be Entitled To Claim That This Product Is Ten-Dimensional. However, the Consumer Is Reminded That This Confers No Legal Rights Above and Beyond Those Applicable to Three-Dimensional Objects, Since the Seven New Dimensions Are "Rolled Up" Into Such a Small "Area" That They Cannot Be Detected.
PLEASE NOTE: Some Quantum Physics Theories Suggest That When the Consumer Is Not Directly Observing This Product, It May Cease to Exist or Will Exist Only in a Vague and Undetermined State.
COMPONENT EQUIVALENCY NOTICE: The Subatomic Particles (Electrons, Protons, etc..) Comprising This Product Are Exactly the Same in Every Measurable Respect as Those Used in the Products of Other Manufacturers, and No Claim to the Contrary May Legitimately Be Expressed or Implied.
HEALTH WARNING: Care Should Be Taken When Lifting This Product, Since Its Mass, and Thus Its Weight, Is Dependent on Its Velocity Relative to the User.